I should have gotten a cat...

Worst Christmas gifts ever!!!
Above: Jonny B by Ron Reyes

There are literally millions of cats and dogs needing great homes. If your thinking of buying anyone on your list that singing fish or latest shopping network gadget please reconsider and think about whether a pet would fit into their lives.

Below is my list of worst Christmas gifts ever. As the giver of each of these gifts watched the receiver open their present and attempt to cover the spasm's and ticks over taking their facial muscles each of them wish they had just gotten a cat...

Giving this hat to an alcoholic smoker is just cruel.

No words necessary.

Turkey dinner flavored soda...only in America!

No matter how cute you might think you are, in a snuggie...not so much.

Any regular reader of FH knows I despise Dr. Phil. His recent admission to taking part in performing his own circumcision aside, the man is an ego inflated tool. But Christmas is not really the time to give a 'self help' book no matter who wrote it. No one wants to open a bright red package on the happiest day of the year only to be reminded how much weight they need to lose, drinking they have to stop, smoking they must quit, diet that must begin, personality trait that needs to be fixed, changed or suppressed. No matter how witty the cover title might be, we all know it is basically saying that we're a loser??? Really...there are 364 other other days to feel like shit!

You don't need money to create a great gift but you do need to be creative, but...unless given (to me) by Cam Gigandet, those cute little homemade gift vouchers scream lame.

Anything related, connected, associated, involving, starring, appearing, featuring, endorsed by, sold by, made by, tied to or in anyway related to either of the following two sudo celebrities.

Socks: I am pretty sure that socks are one of the most frequently given, and most frequently not appreciated gift, of all time.

Underwear: I know from experience it can be pretty hot picking out underwear for someone your in love (or in lust) with...

But...sometimes it is really better to just pick out your own.

Most penis related apparel should generally be avoided...

Especially these penis pants (and yes they are real!) Designed by Isabel Mastache just be grateful I did not post the velcro vagina version.